Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Five Items...

Five items, so geekily luxurious that questions have to be asked of the buyer!

From worst to worst:

1.\ Personal Number Plate.

Buying a personal number plate registration for your car.

Nobody cares about your initials - who's ever asked?!?

We're not interested in your life story, that maybe you made your fortunes by retailing office stationary, hence the registration plate "P.CL1P" / "ST4PL4" / "B1R0 K1NG".

Even worse are plates failing disastrously to even resemble ANY name, let alone the unfortunate buyer's. E.g. "Sally" becomes "SA14YVZ". It's just: Euurgh!!

How to waste money - example here.

2.\ Walkies!

$500 to walk your dog. Or rather let your dog walk you.

I admire the twisted creativity of the inventor, but can muster only cackling ridicule for any consumer of this micro-slave device.

Link -

3.\ Hypnotised Kids

I miss playing eye-spy on long car journeys, for it's simplicity, that game entertained for surprisingly long durations! Much easier for parents to numb the kids by plugging them in to one-way DVD screens.

Now some Swedes are working on a backseat GPS device which makes a game of the journey somehow. At least it sounds more interactive than staring; hypnotised and dribbling, at a DVD screen!

Link -

4.\ Defend What's Important

Yes that's right, defend the banana. Pff! no! Of course I'm not talking about 3rd world banana growers and meaningful campaigns of fair trade and social conscious.

Literally, defend your banana from bumps and inconveniences on its daily journey, by buying a purposely marketed plastic case for it!

Link -

Link - - VERSION 2

I love the way version 1 can't have been up to scratch, for them to bring out a VERSION 2! - I've just got this picture of the Banana Boss with a Schwarzenegger voice going: "Ve neeed MORE pro-tek-shon!!!!

5.\ Rubber Ducks Suck.

Trying to topple the king-ding of rubber duckies - the classic yellow breed, here are a gang of pitiful PVC misfits.

Surely aimed squarely at the emotionally-unstable consumer, this product just sums up the void between luxury and necessity, in a time when a lot of people seem to forget that no luxuries are a necessity.

Link - "Designer" Ducks


If you even considered that any of the above luxuries look like a good purchase, hmmm well firstly consider doing this: - Head-butt your stylish new computer a few times and see if it knocks any perspective in to you. Maybe if wasting money on this crap floats your boat, then wasting some money in the direction of a few needy charities might work too.

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1 comment:

ultramagnetic_commuter said...

Couldn't agree more on the personalised number plates. Quite possibly the biggest waste of money in the world and they speak volumes for the drivers...

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